Time to Step it Up as an Example!

harlan erskine blog

It started with just a "how I feel" conversation about appropriate texts between us and our ex's but turned into something more important and long term.  As my wife and I were talking about how each of us felt and how we could be more respectful and trusting of the others decisions, she told me something that really left an impression.  She brought up how I have an ability to make others; complete strangers even, feel important and appreciated.  However, one of my weaknesses is showing that same importance to the ones closest to me.  I don't know why that is but it is something I have been working to improve since my divorce.  She told me that I am the one our children are looking to as an example and that I have a very important role in their future lives and how they treat others, handle their emotions and reactions to stress and bullying.

I took this very personal and will do my best to teach our children how to be a great asset to the community, church, family and friends.  Our boys especially need to see how a man can apologize and it be okay.  It is a mutual need for our kids to see and hear us say " I'm sorry" to each other.  When they see this they will gain an understanding for how a husband should treat his wife and family as well as understand it is okay to be the first to apologize even when things are done on accident.

I can notice this most in my own son and how he reacts when he is confronted with an opportunity to apologize for an accidental injury to his brother.  Instead he gets defensive like I do and blow it off.  When it would be just so much easier to say "oh man I am sorry.  I totally didn't mean to do that."  This is definitely harder to improve on than I could imagine.  Undoing years of a bad habit takes a lot of conscientious decisions and time to overcome.  I really truly hope I can teach my son this and have him see how I treat others in a kind and respectful way so that he doesn't grow up with the same struggles that I had to deal with.  I am excited to see the change in his confidence and attitude along with the change in myself.  I am grateful to have the support of such an Amazing Women in my life:)

I can already feel the change in the air!