Back to 9-5

Okay so it has been a long while since my last post.  Sorry for being busy and happy at the same time.  Wait, I am not sorry I am stoked!

I got myself a real job again putting me back on track to my career goal.  It has its pros and cons of course but at least I am not running my self into the ground feeling like I can never get anything accomplished.  This was the feeling I had the majority of the time while at home.  I loved the time with my kiddos but really missed grown up conversations.

We took a Step Family class that was offered through Utah State University the past 6 weeks.  Marcella and I went into it with different expectations as most couples would I think.  It was free mind you.  I thought it would be more of a trial and error so that the University could produce more structured materials for future classes.  Marcella went into it thinking we would get help, support and tools to use in our home and build stronger step-relationships with our kids.  I could bore you all with the nonsense that was discussed by some of the couples or the lack of tools and structure of the class but all in all we met some Great Families that share our frustrations and challenges.  It is amazing to think that once you have been married with kids it would be so much easier the second time around.  LOL!  Boy were we way off!  The MAIN point that w
e took from that class was the importance of building our own personal relationship to be unbreakable and everything else will be manageable.  It has been a wonderful experience so far focusing on her and I so that we can be strong and stable for our kids while they go through their learning/trial period.

I just wanted to post a quick tidbit of where we are now and let everyone know what an Amazing Family I have been blessed with.  I hope I can continue to grow in patience and kindness and our children follow suit.

Thanks for reading and I will try and be better at regular posts :)

The New More Patient and Kind Tage!

What kind of Parent are You?

Last year we took a Love and Logic parenting course to better our parenting skills and techniques so our children grow up happy and strong.  In that course they talk about the various types of parents, helicopter, drill sergeant, and consultant.  I had been for the most part all three of these at times.  However, in learning more about the effect that they have on our children the more I am trying to improve my personal parenting skills.  When you are a drill sergeant, your children will grow up not knowing how to make tough choices on their own because they have been told how to make all their choices.  When you are a helicopter you are hovering over your children and "rescuing" them from the hostile world in which they live.  The consultant is the most important to model ourselves after.  A consultant parent provides guidance and consultant services for the children when they need them.  This method provides to our children messages of personal worth and strength.  I heard this song again today and it gave me a subtle reminder to not be that drill sergeant or helicopter parent but to be the Consultant and "Let them be little."  

Our children deserve the right to enjoy life and we are to teach them the safest and most rewarding ways to achieve that goal.  I think Lehi is a great example to us as how to teach and raise our children in righteousness (1Nephi 1:1)  I would like to challenge us all to look at our own parenting styles and determine which of these three parenting styles you are and how you can work towards becoming a Consultant.

Enjoy the Snow!!!!!

EASY! BBQ Brown Sugar Pork Loin's

Marinade: marinade for 2-4hrs

1/2 cup soy sauce
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup pineapple juice
1 tablespoon dehydrated onion flakes
4 tablespoons canola oil
2 Tbs Habanero Olive Oil (optional)
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper

*Save marinade after you place pork loins on the grill.  Slowly heat marinade to a slight boil for 15 min to make it safe to eat.  Add 1/2 tsp of corn starch to thicken if desired.  I added another cup of brown sugar to make it a bit sweeter:)

Turn Grill on med/high heat.  Be sure oil the grill before cooking.  Cook on each side approximately 6 min each side.  Lower the heat to med and cook another 10 min each side.  Baste the thickened marinade on each side.  **Cook as long as you prefer this is just a suggestion 145-160 degrees**

I just made this tonight and the kids ate 1 1/2 pork loins each!  I love fall grilling more than the summer actually.  Soft clouds floating across the sky and the nice sprinkling of rain.  Just makes me smile:)

Enjoy your family meal together!! 

Time to Step it Up as an Example!

harlan erskine blog

It started with just a "how I feel" conversation about appropriate texts between us and our ex's but turned into something more important and long term.  As my wife and I were talking about how each of us felt and how we could be more respectful and trusting of the others decisions, she told me something that really left an impression.  She brought up how I have an ability to make others; complete strangers even, feel important and appreciated.  However, one of my weaknesses is showing that same importance to the ones closest to me.  I don't know why that is but it is something I have been working to improve since my divorce.  She told me that I am the one our children are looking to as an example and that I have a very important role in their future lives and how they treat others, handle their emotions and reactions to stress and bullying.

I took this very personal and will do my best to teach our children how to be a great asset to the community, church, family and friends.  Our boys especially need to see how a man can apologize and it be okay.  It is a mutual need for our kids to see and hear us say " I'm sorry" to each other.  When they see this they will gain an understanding for how a husband should treat his wife and family as well as understand it is okay to be the first to apologize even when things are done on accident.

I can notice this most in my own son and how he reacts when he is confronted with an opportunity to apologize for an accidental injury to his brother.  Instead he gets defensive like I do and blow it off.  When it would be just so much easier to say "oh man I am sorry.  I totally didn't mean to do that."  This is definitely harder to improve on than I could imagine.  Undoing years of a bad habit takes a lot of conscientious decisions and time to overcome.  I really truly hope I can teach my son this and have him see how I treat others in a kind and respectful way so that he doesn't grow up with the same struggles that I had to deal with.  I am excited to see the change in his confidence and attitude along with the change in myself.  I am grateful to have the support of such an Amazing Women in my life:)

I can already feel the change in the air!

"this isn't working for me"

You have had a day filled with nothing but cleaning and checking things off the "honey do list" when Rockstar  strolls into the house from school ready to play and nothing else.  Why would she want to do anything other than play when she has been at school all day?  Since I am the parent at home, I am the bad guy who gets to tell her to do her homework.  This does not go over well roughly 63% of the time :)  They are even doing Math right now and I loved Math.  After this year of helping with school work, I am 100% sure I was not cut out to be a teacher. 

Confident Happy Kids.com

My Wife suggested that I use food or snacks as a motivator for her.  This is where understanding your children and how they are motivated really comes in handy.  I as a step dad have yet to figure all these details out but I am with the patience of my children and Amazing Wife.  My wife arrived home and went upstairs with a small bowl of treats.  It took about 35min but she was able to focus her and she completed her homework assignment.   It was even correct!                               

What I learned from this experience was to "listen" to the subtle hints that my children are giving to me telling me, "this isn't working for me."  Once I become familiar with these hints I will be better able to recognize them.  In theory that is!  I am grateful for these continuous learning opportunities and for the knowledge that our own family, friends and neighbors can give meaningful suggestions to help out.  We are all trying to get to the same point of having well taught, independent, strong willed, wise, kind, and generous children to send out into the world when that time comes.  I hope it doesn't come as fast as these last couple of years .

Enjoy your Hump Day!  Make a goal to "Listen" to the needs of your children and don't punish them for being kids:)

Cleaning Tage Style! Bathroom Sink

I was talking with my grandma the other day and she was telling me about the way they used to clean their drains.  It was with baking soda and vinegar.  Why didn't I think of that?  Oh wait because I only thought of it as a way to make volcano's and water bottle bombs lol

Our bathroom sink was draining very very slowly so I thought I would give it a go and show you how I did it.  I made a video and posted it on YouTube for everyone to see this great Eco Friendly way to clean your drains. None of this Liquid Drain Cleaner that never really works.  Check it Out!

What you will need:

1C Vinegar
1/2 C Baking Soda
4 C Boiling HOT Water

When it is all finished I used an old toothbrush to clean the stopper and the inside of the drain to make it Tage Clean!!!  It also works on your kitchen sink and disposal:)

Try it out and let me know how it worked for you.  My favorite part is when you hear the blockage get pushed down the drain and you can actually hear it clear up.  Cool Cool.

You can relate this to life as well I think.  We have had some pretty Amazing Blessings take place in our Life and it has happened by getting those "blockages" in our life gone.  Putting your Faith in our Heavenly Father that He will bless you according to your Righteous Desires is tough and sometimes takes longer than you would prefer but He does take care of you!  His Sons Atonement can be your best "cleaner" and get you to a place in your life where things just run much more smoothly than ever before.  Enjoy your beautiful day and have fun Cleaning! Whatever it may be.

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Tough it out!

Just a short video of Bobo and Dooda fighting it out at a school fair this year.  It was so much fun watching them battle it out with all they had than going right back to being the best of brothers when the gear came off.   

Try not to hold a grudge today or let one go that you have been holding onto for whatever reason.  Trust me you will be happier!

Happy Tuesday!!!!

Crafting is fun!

On Sunday the boys were promised by the Wife that they could make some Captain America shields today. Oh wait she is not a stay at home mom lol.  They had a couple of frisbees they got from a birthday party and luckily I found one for myself :)


Normally, I am not one to just sit and do crafts.  We had a lesson in church yesterday about relationships and marriage.  The quote we were to remember was, "What can I say or do to make my spouse feel Loved and Appreciated right now..."  -Dr. Rasmussen-  I'm sorry if I butchered the saying.  I thought of applying that to my whole family.  Thus the reason I am doing things that will make ALL my children feel Loved and Appreciated.  I would rather just play ninja's and cars or something "manly" lol but both boys aren't like that. Bobo likes to do different things on a softer tone.  It takes me a lot of effort to make sure all the kiddos are happy and enjoying their time in our family.  Stopping to take the time to learn about your children is a wonderful opportunity most Mom's get to experience.  Rarely, do we as father's get the chance to learn so much from our kiddos.  I am truly blessed to have such wonderful children to teach me patience and to work on my listening skills to figure out their needs.

I will be asking around for ideas to keep the kiddos entertained and educated.  I have a lot of Mom's in the neighborhood to get ideas from.  I will first as my Wife about the ideas she has because I know she was an Amazing Stay at Home Mom!

Dinner Tage Style!

Creamy Lemon Sauce Chicken: 6 servings

Marinade for chicken...
6 boneless chicken breast halved
1 C Lemon Juice
1 Tbsp Lemon Pepper
1 Tbsp Italian seasons
1 tsp Salt
1 tsp Cracked Black Pepper
Put in 9x13 pyrex and place in fridge for 4-24hrs to marinade

Cream Sauce...
3/4 C Butter
1/2 C White Onion
1/4 C White Wine (it cooks out alcohol)
3 Tbsp Flour
1-1/2 C Heavy Cream
1-1/2 C Milk
1/4 C Lemon Juice

Just before you take chicken out of fridge start the sauce.  Using a large saucepan on high-med heat, start by adding your butter.  Mince up your onion and add until transparent.  Add your Wine and then slowly whisk in the flour, heavy cream, milk and lemon juice.  Reduce to medium heat and for about 5 min then pour over the chicken.

Place foil covered chicken in for 35min at 375 degrees.

Enjoy!!!!!

Finding those Great Memories!

This is one of my favorite things to watch when I am feeling down and out.  This is when I was recently divorced and my son was my motivation to Keep Moving Forward! For some reason when I spoke with an Asian accent he thought that was the funniest thing in the world at the time.  He just wanted me to do it again and again...  This could have easily been missed in our crazy busy lives and especially when we are not in a positive mood.  We need to conscientiously be aware and make time for these great memories!

There is a primary song that has a great message in it:

"If you chance to meet a frown, do not let it stay.  Quickly turn it upside down and smile that frown away.."
Those words taught me a lot of how to always stay positive.  Especially, when things are going rougher than normal and you feel alone and lost.

Remember today to turn that frown upside down and SMILE that frown away, with all the Great and Positive memories we have.  Like our Family!!!!

Dads haircut! How will this end...

So, in the spirit of saving money I did bobo's haircut myself:)  I have always wanted to give this cut nd I got my chance today! What do you think mom will say? If my next post is about a trip to super cuts you'll really know lol

Our part in Bringing Sexy Back!

You come home from work and you greet your wife in the kitchen with a kiss and a sexy smack on the derriere.  You are trying to be sweet and flirt with her like you have always imagined flirting in "the kitchen" should be.  My wife spoke of the woman's perspective on the kitchen romance matter which was very insightful.  However, we as men need to read that and think more on a romantic level than a "get-r-done" level.  Which honestly, will never get you anywhere!  Just like we say to our kids when sharing their things with friends..."you need to ask nicely."  We as husbands need to ask nicely, through our actions and sweet words of love so that our wives feel the love a respect we have for them and not making them feel as though they are just merely a physical object to be had.

Great post Sweetheart! I think I will write a longer post on how we as husbands can make sure our wives get the respect they deserve:)

I'm such a Lazy A!

courtesy of line maro

Saturday is finally here!  I get a break from having my time occupied 80% of the day.  I do sleep sometimes when I can at night, but even then my mind is constantly running through random things I could, should or would like to do, at some future point in time.  I found this to be a great Saturday Motto:  "Hard Work Pays Off in the Future, Laziness Pays Off Now"

I think this is a common mood found in most of the guys I know.  It must be instinctual because we are so busy throughout the week and Sunday is a spiritual day so Saturday is our literal "day of rest."

I have found that I need to start my day off doing something right away or else I am lost in the black hole of "I don't want to do anything today" mood.  This often happens when I don't eat breakfast, back is way sore and don't want to take anymore ibuprofen.  It tends to be my own fault when I get into this mood and unfortunately as was communicated to me this evening, I am not the only one who is affected by this. This is my newest issue I am focusing on, to change of course.  Okay, I will try at least. No promises;)

How many of your spouses have issues (even if it's as simple as him/her not putting the toothpaste away) that affect you but you have never mentioned it to your spouse?  It should be approached in a tasteful manner by the way.  Going right up to them and telling them you have issues with them won't work.  Walls will instantly go up I can promise that!  Here is a great time to mention some things you yourself may need assistance with fixing.  Try it out and let them now you have something you need their help with.  Then ask if there is anything  you could help them with.  Try it out and see how it goes.  Remember to be thinking of your spouse and don't get defensive. Good luck its going to be tough.

On a lighter note, my Wife made the BEST brownies tonight for me.  Even when I am a lazy A she is still thinking of ways to make me happy.  That is a great spouse!!!

       

Bread winner No More!

Thanks to Colourbox.com

I took on the task of cleaning all the bathrooms today and needed a break so I read MY WIFE'S blog to see her latest post.  I need to keep up on the newest learning experiences that marriage brings.

I will post about some tips for "Cleaning the Bathrooms Tage Style!" later so check back soon.

"Bread and Milk"

When you hear your spouse say they are going to run and grab some bread and milk, what should we be expecting when he/she returns from the store?  Correct! Bread and Milk.  Now, lets play this out when one of the spouses; lets say the husband just for an example, is recently a stay at home dad.  Keep in mind this is a hard thing for a man of the house to do but does so for the benefit of his family.  This is where the husband reacted the way he did about the "extra" items, because the husband (if you haven't guessed it's me) is now overly aware of the tighter financial strain his family will be facing.

I most certainly do appreciate how well my wife is able to stock our home with food and supplies for the kids and stay within our allotted budget.  She even spends under the budget which is fantastic!  However, that in most cases isn't directly communicated to her as she walks in the door with "extra" goods.  I as a person need work on being much less literal in life.  It doesn't seem to do anyone any good but annoy them and frustrate them.  I am grateful that I have a sassy wife so that I am not too over bearing.  She puts me in check at times but only when needed;)

Fella's please learn to appreciate your wife for all the thought she puts into keeping you and your family happy with the little things she does without you really being aware of.  How is it that the butter tray is full all the time, is the salt n pepper always refilling itself, your deodorant never seems to run out... weird right?  I am  slowly learning that its almost like watching sports on TV.  We get to see them at their best and not worrying about all the practices or how hard each member of the team has been working on their weaknesses.  We just expect them to be great at what they do.  Praise your wife's practice time and how hard she is working at being the best Mom, and Wife she knows how to be.  If you think you can do it better than do it yourself, I dare ya!

Happy Conversations:)

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Joys of Open and Honest Communication

Have you ever been so frustrated by school, work or anything really?  My online course ended last night at 10pm and I was awaiting my professor to approve my final post.  He had not approved it earlier in the day because I said my calculator wasn't working (it really isn't) and I had to do the problems the long way by hand.  I was frustrated that he had not responded to my emails to him about my concern and I felt like he didn't really care if I passed the course or not.  I finally got an email this morning at 6am from him saying "it is weird your calculator is getting those answers."  That's it! Seriously?  Oh and a p.s. I approved your post.

I have been trying to make it a point to not let my frustration show when I am with my family.  It is something that I didn't do very well in my previous marriage and it wasn't fair to them.  I know make it a point to tell myself to say kind soft words and not sharp words when I am frustrated.  It is not their fault so why are they to take the brunt of this frustration.  My wife is sweet and can tell when I am in that mood and lets me have my space while asking if there is anything she could do for me or anything she shouldn't try and do for me;)  It is amazing when a husband and wife learn to think of the other before themselves.  (not saying this is perfected; far from it but when it works its incredible)  We should always be striving to think in a non selfish manner and if needed be quick to apologize.  Pride was the fall of many great and powerful nations and Marriage can be Great and Powerful in a much better way!

Thanks for the note on the Toilet Roll this morning SWEETHEART!  Lets all work on putting our spouse's needs above our own today.  I would love to hear how this worked for everyone and to have experiences shared in the comments.  Thanks!  Good Luck:)

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Empty Toilet Rolls

photo from google images

Yet another emotional hurdle to overcome in this new race of Stay at Home Dad.  It all seemed to come out while bobo was blowing his nose.  Let me clarify.  Taking about 10 sheets of TP just to stick a tiny corner in his nose and wipe it.  I found this interesting toilet paper usage analysis article by Josh Madison from a few years ago.  Funny and interesting read:

http://joshmadison.com/2007/05/09/toilet-paper-usage-analysis/

Now I didn't get all crazy just because I am slightly bugged by finding empty toilet rolls 9/10 times that would just be ridiculous.  I'm a man dang it!
I realized I was feeling more like a failure and less like a husband and father to my family.  I grew up with my dad being the "bread winner" and my mother staying home with the 4 kiddos until we were all out of elementary schools.  It was instilled in me that I as a man would be the sole provider for my family and that my future wife would be at home with the kids.  Having that as a mindset for so many years and suddenly I am at home while my wife is working is a tough pill to swallow.  I would have totally stayed at my workplace but knowing the lack of spiritual development that I would gain there was the weighing factor.  Its tough choosing to leave the place you have worked for the last 6 1/2 years. It is however, what I needed to do to better my family.

I was thinking back to when my wife was a single mom of 2 and was forced in a way to go back to work.  She would tell me how torn she felt at not being home with her kids like she had since they were born.  I never fully understood how she was feeling and thought it was one of those "women" things they deal with instinctively.  I was partially right in thinking that.  However, I now have a much stronger understanding of how she was feeling inadequate as a mother not being there for her children.  I started feeling the same about not being a provider for my family in the way that I was "suppose" too.
I have found greater pride and accomplishment in taking care of the kids (school, homework, violin practice, etc), taking care of the home and "trying" to make things easier and less stressful for when my wife gets home from her long days of work.
 
I know this will be a daily, weekly and continual learning experience but I am willing to let my pride down and experience all these wonderful memories with my children and wonderful wife, whom I am sure will post a response to this :) http://standingwithtage.blogspot.com/

Bring it On!

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I am a Certified Chocolate Milk Master!

courtesy of Google Image

                                           

I have been a Chocolate Milk Master for the last 13yrs.  The 19yrs prior to that I was an apprentice under the infamous Momma Hill!!!  It was during those learning years through trial and error that I perfected the art of making chocolate milk.  The Modern History of Chocolate Milk is a great read.

Clank, Clank Clank... in a non harmonious way.  I can feel the glass hurting, as she is so rudely beats on the glass in an not so fluid manner.  I kindly offered my expertise to my wife so that our kiddos could experience chocolate milk the way I remember.  It was definitely NOT because I am an overbearing husband who likes to have things done his own way;) I am slowly coming to the conclusion that it is okay for others to do things there own way and it has no effect on my eternal salvation!

I was just trying to show my wife the ways of Mamma Hill.  I suppose I was kindly told that my assistance was not needed at that moment in time and that I should "back off"!  At least that's what I heard her eyes say lol.

I have the MOST amazing wife who takes such great care of our kiddos. She is always planning ahead so that when the kiddos say they  need something, it's like Mary Poppins and her never ending bag of tricks.  In this marriage I am again finding myself in the apprentice's shoes as I learn from the Master Mom.
This post was in response to my Wife's previous post.

Healthy Snack

Locally grown tomatoes from the inlaws, tossed in red wine vinegar, over low fat cottage cheese from smiths. Salt n pepper to taste.
Mmm

Learn to dance like Justin Bieber...

So, you have finally come to grips with the fact that its ok to dance like the Beebs.  In fact it is actually a great mood changer if your Frown in Upside Down or if you just want to feel like a spoiled, rich 18 yr old kid from Canada...  Watch these two masters of 4yr old dance and you will quickly learn that it really doesn't matter who you dance like or act like as long as you are having a great time.

I have learned from these little monsters that I really don't have any reason to be so dang uptight all the time! Sometimes yes but not all the time.  I remember when I was a kid being shy but still being able to bust a move or do something totally out of my comfort zone because I didn't have it tattooed in my brain that I have to care what peoples opinions are of me.  Oh to be a 32yr old kid again.  What things would I try or what could I accomplish that I am currently stopping myself from?  Hopefully, we can all learn from our totally Rad kiddos and, "Let Our Fear of Failure BECOME our Search for Success!" -Tage-                                                                (wow I just thought of that. I hope it hasn't been said before.  If it has credit goes to that much cooler person lol)

These are the reasons I can find a smile on my face most of the day while I am at home.

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Third Richest Man in the World!

I know I am the Richest man in the world just not with money lol.  Family, Faith, Friends, etc... YES!

Reading this article from Yahoo Finance made me start thinking.  Do you think that a man like Warren Buffett is getting the same treatment for his prostate cancer as I would be getting if I had the same ailment?  I am excited for him that he has gone through so many treatments at his age and is finally completed but would love to know what special treatments he may be getting that the common public would not know about; if any.  

Makes me think of Tony Stark and how he has all this super advanced technologies and ability to do most anything he wants based on the amount of money he has.  I know one is fiction and the other reality but it does pose some cool pondering time questions and google search time.  I have yet to find any "non traditional" treatments like flying to Space or going to a secret medical lab 3 miles below the ocean.  But I will keep looking and see what this curious mind will find about the super rich medical treatments.  They should share that wealth with the millions of cancer patient's right?  Random I know but my homework was beginning to get a bit monotonous:)

Here you can find the full article on Warren Buffett if you so desire:

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/warren-buffett-says-cancer-radiation-153408676.html