Back to 9-5

Okay so it has been a long while since my last post.  Sorry for being busy and happy at the same time.  Wait, I am not sorry I am stoked!

I got myself a real job again putting me back on track to my career goal.  It has its pros and cons of course but at least I am not running my self into the ground feeling like I can never get anything accomplished.  This was the feeling I had the majority of the time while at home.  I loved the time with my kiddos but really missed grown up conversations.

We took a Step Family class that was offered through Utah State University the past 6 weeks.  Marcella and I went into it with different expectations as most couples would I think.  It was free mind you.  I thought it would be more of a trial and error so that the University could produce more structured materials for future classes.  Marcella went into it thinking we would get help, support and tools to use in our home and build stronger step-relationships with our kids.  I could bore you all with the nonsense that was discussed by some of the couples or the lack of tools and structure of the class but all in all we met some Great Families that share our frustrations and challenges.  It is amazing to think that once you have been married with kids it would be so much easier the second time around.  LOL!  Boy were we way off!  The MAIN point that w
e took from that class was the importance of building our own personal relationship to be unbreakable and everything else will be manageable.  It has been a wonderful experience so far focusing on her and I so that we can be strong and stable for our kids while they go through their learning/trial period.

I just wanted to post a quick tidbit of where we are now and let everyone know what an Amazing Family I have been blessed with.  I hope I can continue to grow in patience and kindness and our children follow suit.

Thanks for reading and I will try and be better at regular posts :)

The New More Patient and Kind Tage!

What kind of Parent are You?

Last year we took a Love and Logic parenting course to better our parenting skills and techniques so our children grow up happy and strong.  In that course they talk about the various types of parents, helicopter, drill sergeant, and consultant.  I had been for the most part all three of these at times.  However, in learning more about the effect that they have on our children the more I am trying to improve my personal parenting skills.  When you are a drill sergeant, your children will grow up not knowing how to make tough choices on their own because they have been told how to make all their choices.  When you are a helicopter you are hovering over your children and "rescuing" them from the hostile world in which they live.  The consultant is the most important to model ourselves after.  A consultant parent provides guidance and consultant services for the children when they need them.  This method provides to our children messages of personal worth and strength.  I heard this song again today and it gave me a subtle reminder to not be that drill sergeant or helicopter parent but to be the Consultant and "Let them be little."  

Our children deserve the right to enjoy life and we are to teach them the safest and most rewarding ways to achieve that goal.  I think Lehi is a great example to us as how to teach and raise our children in righteousness (1Nephi 1:1)  I would like to challenge us all to look at our own parenting styles and determine which of these three parenting styles you are and how you can work towards becoming a Consultant.

Enjoy the Snow!!!!!

EASY! BBQ Brown Sugar Pork Loin's

Marinade: marinade for 2-4hrs

1/2 cup soy sauce
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup pineapple juice
1 tablespoon dehydrated onion flakes
4 tablespoons canola oil
2 Tbs Habanero Olive Oil (optional)
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper

*Save marinade after you place pork loins on the grill.  Slowly heat marinade to a slight boil for 15 min to make it safe to eat.  Add 1/2 tsp of corn starch to thicken if desired.  I added another cup of brown sugar to make it a bit sweeter:)

Turn Grill on med/high heat.  Be sure oil the grill before cooking.  Cook on each side approximately 6 min each side.  Lower the heat to med and cook another 10 min each side.  Baste the thickened marinade on each side.  **Cook as long as you prefer this is just a suggestion 145-160 degrees**

I just made this tonight and the kids ate 1 1/2 pork loins each!  I love fall grilling more than the summer actually.  Soft clouds floating across the sky and the nice sprinkling of rain.  Just makes me smile:)

Enjoy your family meal together!! 

Time to Step it Up as an Example!

harlan erskine blog

It started with just a "how I feel" conversation about appropriate texts between us and our ex's but turned into something more important and long term.  As my wife and I were talking about how each of us felt and how we could be more respectful and trusting of the others decisions, she told me something that really left an impression.  She brought up how I have an ability to make others; complete strangers even, feel important and appreciated.  However, one of my weaknesses is showing that same importance to the ones closest to me.  I don't know why that is but it is something I have been working to improve since my divorce.  She told me that I am the one our children are looking to as an example and that I have a very important role in their future lives and how they treat others, handle their emotions and reactions to stress and bullying.

I took this very personal and will do my best to teach our children how to be a great asset to the community, church, family and friends.  Our boys especially need to see how a man can apologize and it be okay.  It is a mutual need for our kids to see and hear us say " I'm sorry" to each other.  When they see this they will gain an understanding for how a husband should treat his wife and family as well as understand it is okay to be the first to apologize even when things are done on accident.

I can notice this most in my own son and how he reacts when he is confronted with an opportunity to apologize for an accidental injury to his brother.  Instead he gets defensive like I do and blow it off.  When it would be just so much easier to say "oh man I am sorry.  I totally didn't mean to do that."  This is definitely harder to improve on than I could imagine.  Undoing years of a bad habit takes a lot of conscientious decisions and time to overcome.  I really truly hope I can teach my son this and have him see how I treat others in a kind and respectful way so that he doesn't grow up with the same struggles that I had to deal with.  I am excited to see the change in his confidence and attitude along with the change in myself.  I am grateful to have the support of such an Amazing Women in my life:)

I can already feel the change in the air!

"this isn't working for me"

You have had a day filled with nothing but cleaning and checking things off the "honey do list" when Rockstar  strolls into the house from school ready to play and nothing else.  Why would she want to do anything other than play when she has been at school all day?  Since I am the parent at home, I am the bad guy who gets to tell her to do her homework.  This does not go over well roughly 63% of the time :)  They are even doing Math right now and I loved Math.  After this year of helping with school work, I am 100% sure I was not cut out to be a teacher. 

Confident Happy Kids.com

My Wife suggested that I use food or snacks as a motivator for her.  This is where understanding your children and how they are motivated really comes in handy.  I as a step dad have yet to figure all these details out but I am with the patience of my children and Amazing Wife.  My wife arrived home and went upstairs with a small bowl of treats.  It took about 35min but she was able to focus her and she completed her homework assignment.   It was even correct!                               

What I learned from this experience was to "listen" to the subtle hints that my children are giving to me telling me, "this isn't working for me."  Once I become familiar with these hints I will be better able to recognize them.  In theory that is!  I am grateful for these continuous learning opportunities and for the knowledge that our own family, friends and neighbors can give meaningful suggestions to help out.  We are all trying to get to the same point of having well taught, independent, strong willed, wise, kind, and generous children to send out into the world when that time comes.  I hope it doesn't come as fast as these last couple of years .

Enjoy your Hump Day!  Make a goal to "Listen" to the needs of your children and don't punish them for being kids:)

Cleaning Tage Style! Bathroom Sink

I was talking with my grandma the other day and she was telling me about the way they used to clean their drains.  It was with baking soda and vinegar.  Why didn't I think of that?  Oh wait because I only thought of it as a way to make volcano's and water bottle bombs lol

Our bathroom sink was draining very very slowly so I thought I would give it a go and show you how I did it.  I made a video and posted it on YouTube for everyone to see this great Eco Friendly way to clean your drains. None of this Liquid Drain Cleaner that never really works.  Check it Out!

What you will need:

1C Vinegar
1/2 C Baking Soda
4 C Boiling HOT Water

When it is all finished I used an old toothbrush to clean the stopper and the inside of the drain to make it Tage Clean!!!  It also works on your kitchen sink and disposal:)

Try it out and let me know how it worked for you.  My favorite part is when you hear the blockage get pushed down the drain and you can actually hear it clear up.  Cool Cool.

You can relate this to life as well I think.  We have had some pretty Amazing Blessings take place in our Life and it has happened by getting those "blockages" in our life gone.  Putting your Faith in our Heavenly Father that He will bless you according to your Righteous Desires is tough and sometimes takes longer than you would prefer but He does take care of you!  His Sons Atonement can be your best "cleaner" and get you to a place in your life where things just run much more smoothly than ever before.  Enjoy your beautiful day and have fun Cleaning! Whatever it may be.

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Tough it out!

Just a short video of Bobo and Dooda fighting it out at a school fair this year.  It was so much fun watching them battle it out with all they had than going right back to being the best of brothers when the gear came off.   

Try not to hold a grudge today or let one go that you have been holding onto for whatever reason.  Trust me you will be happier!

Happy Tuesday!!!!